Interesting Stuff

Pirates was sold out, so I saw Superman with Emily and Jenna tonight. Although the local newspaper gave it 4 stars, I was sorely disappointed in the movie. Overlooking the overtly Christian symbolism with which the movie is saturated (since it is implicitly part of the Superman mythos), it was still not very engaging. The characters were surprisingly unbelievable (Lex and his girlfriend Kitty apparently do stuff only to advance the plot, regardless of whether these things would actually help them; Lois seems to have gotten married roughly the day after Superman left 5 years ago; no one seems to want to hear where Clark Kent has been for the past 5 years, etc). Moreover, it’s hard to become emotionally attached to a protagonist that cannot be harmed at all. Now, I know what you’re saying: what about that Kryptonite stuff? Nope. At one point, Superman picks up a rock the size of a small city and flies it into outer space, with a shard of Kryptonite stabbed through his lung. It appears to only affect him sometimes, and cannot, no matter what, be fatal. You just can’t care about such an invulnerable character, since you know he’s gonna be fine.

The special effects were pretty good (particularly the part with the gattling gun, at the end of which Superman blocks a pistol bullet with his eye), though many of the scenes were drawn out too long. It seems like 5 minutes were spent on people being thrown about in a really bumpy plane, another 5 were spent watching windows shatter and buildings break, 5 more were spent on a model railroad collapsing (yes, a model railroad. Like, in somebody’s basement. We’re not even remotely talking about a real railroad here), etc. Mind you, it was a really cool plane crash, and some amazing shots of shattering windows, but it got a bit boring.

The plot makes absolutely no sense. Lex’s big plan seems to be to, um, steal the crystals containing knowledge from the Fortress of Solitude, which apparently grow to monumental sizes when put in water. With these, he tries to grow his own continent while flooding the rest of the world. He then plans to sell real estate on this new continent to the rest of the world, despite this land being a barren, inhospitable place of jagged cliffs (no place for houses, let alone farms/ranches). WTF!?

All in all, I wish I’d seen Pirates instead. If you want Superman-type entertainment, I’d recommend Smallville, which has much more interesting and believable characters (particularly Lex, who is just awesome).